Postponed. STUPID RAIN.

A double header will be played August 31st at 1:15pm ET and 7:15pm ET.

Don’t start with me today. I weigh one million pounds and am out of Advil, nobody likes me, there are no lightning bugs in my yard, and the humidity is one hundred million percent, thereby negating the warm weather I’ve been awaiting since the beginning of time. Now there’s some new guy we just drafted whose name sounds like a text abbreviation, Lolololololol or something. He will disappoint, no doubt.

Maybe I’ll come back in and fill in cheerful life-affirming content at some point in the second inning. But I doubt it. You’ll get semi-ironic headlines and that’s about it and you’ll like it.

Starting Pitchers

Anthony DeSclafani 4.97 1.34 54.1 55 2 3
Dakota Hudson 3.94 1.58 59.1 42 4 3


We’re probably going to lose.


This pitcher, judging by the name, is either a pole dance instructor or the latest baby name trend out of Hyde Park.


Don’t do an image search for the word “bullpen.”

Do. Not.

Starting Lineups


  1. Nick Senzel (R) CF
  2. Joey Votto (L) 1B
  3. Eugenio Suárez (R) 3B
  4. Derek Dietrich (L) 2B
  5. Jesse Winker (L) LF
  6. Yasiel Puig (R) RF
  7. Jose Iglesias (R) SS
  8. Tucker Barnhart (S) C
  9. Anthony DeSclafani (R) P


Their Majesties the St. Louis Cardinals, apparently having missed the memo not start to with me today, have not yet deigned to provide their starting lineup by the deadline, so whatever. They ain’t care so I ain’t either.

Oh wait, look who decided to show up right before I hit publish. OH WOW THANKS CARDINALS WE’RE SO HONORED TO BE IN YOUR HOLY PRESENCE.

  1. Matt Carpenter (L) 3B
  2. Paul DeJong (R) SS
  3. Paul Goldschmidt (R) 1B
  4. Marcel Ozuna (R) LF
  5. Dexter Fowler (S) RF
  6. Kolten Wong (L) 2B
  7. Matt Wieters (S) C
  8. Harrison Bader (R) CF
  9. Dakota Hudson (R) P

News and Notes

-If you would like to cast a rude, anti-feminist, judgemental assumption about my mood based on the natural cycles of womanhood, you would probably be correct.

The Major League Baseball draft is now officially completed. There were 40 rounds. Doug Gray has scouting reports and more on all 40 players that were selected by the Cincinnati Reds.

61 Responses

  1. Jazzmanbbfan

    I enjoy the writing on this site but you are by far the most entertaining. Whenever I see your name attached to something I start reading and am never disappointed.

    • Mary Beth Ellis

      ALL OTHER REDLEG NATION WRITERS: (construct thoughtful articles based on facts, stats, study, knowledge of game, careful consideration)

      ME: Guys I think my period’s coming

      PS thanks 🙂

  2. FreeHouse

    Homeruns have been killing Disco. If he keeps the ball out of the stands I say Reds have a great shot of winning today and taking the series. Let’s beat these Birds!

  3. Lwblogger2

    I <3 you Mary Beth… Josh the Pilot, if in town, should be there with some Haagen Dazs soon… Or hopefully he will.

    • RedsMonk65

      Beat me to it. I was going to say:

      I prescribe copious amounts of ice cream (Graeter’s, of course). Good for what ails ya — or just about anyone. (Strawberry works for me.)

      Don’t eat it too fast, though.

      Go Reds!

      • Lwblogger2

        Big headache due to the brain freeze. That won’t help at all. Take is slowly, just as you said.

      • Mary Beth Ellis

        There you go. One of the few ice creams on the planet worth the calories: Graeters mint chip or CC chip and UDF cookie dough. Wicked.

    • Mary Beth Ellis

      Well thanks. But Josh The Pilot is wisely about five states away at the moment.

      Haagen Daz, along with Godiva, is one of the biggest letdowns of my life. Graeters all day every day.

      • greenmtred

        Haagen-Daz isn’t so bad, but its point of origin–a star in what may be Western Europe or may be a region in Westeros–is concerning.

  4. Bill Hedges

    Well, judging by the pole dancer instructor reference – we should get plenty of singles tonight.

    Keep it up MB, you had me at Nick LOL.

  5. matt hendley

    The Standard RHP lineup. Disco in a park that would be slightly more forgiving then GABP. Possibility to move up in the standings tonight. Let’s win the series before the end of the series. GO reds

  6. Seat101

    I now understand why you didn’t end every sentence with an exclamation point.

    Get it?

    Anyway, you did a bang up job keeping the Reds ahead while I went to bed (that rhymes!).

    Twins Plymptyn and Lake. Guess which one was the boy and which one was the girl.

    When they asked what names we were considering I would always say Baby Orajel

  7. Curt

    It’s only taken 2 months but Puig finally where he belongs and where has spent most of the last few years, in the 6 hole.

  8. Indy Red Man

    All Hail MBE!! I think the Reds have to be atleast 4-5 games over .500 when you lead the way!! Lets keep it going!!

    I asked for Puig on RLN a few years ago and it happened. I also asked for Avi Garcia last year when he was hurt and then he came into GABP and went off. In 3 games he went 6-13 with a double, 3 bombs, and 2 walks. In 2017 he hit .330 with 18 hrs. He’s hitting .300 with 11 hrs (.892 ops) this year. He’s even 6 of 8 with steals this year! He’s on a 1 yr deal w/Tampa for 6 mil and he’ll be 28 next week. Tampa is going to the playoffs so they won’t deal him mid-season, but he’s really a guy to target for next year! He’s much closer to Winker then Puig defensively, but we need consistent runs!

    • Indy Red Man

      Check that. He got 3.5 mil with Tampa. He’s had some injury issues, but then again so has Puig in the past. What would Avi demand for next year? My guess is 2 yrs for $22 mil?

    • Mary Beth Ellis

      Even the weather knew not to try me today #Hail

    • Mary Beth Ellis

      Well thanks, but I refuse to menstruate more often to make this happen on an increased basis.

  9. Michael Smith

    MB you are pure gold. I am disappointed that my bullpen image search did not end up on pinterest or the hub.

  10. JB WV

    You could be my daughters’ twin. Your post would serve better the day after a loss. Let’s get some positive mo goin, gang!!! Go Reds!! I hate the Cards!! Beat em to death!!

    • Mary Beth Ellis

      You daughter must be quite the delightful beauty.

  11. matt hendley

    Any estimate of the weather delay?

  12. matt hendley

    It never rains but it Pours, Kimbril to sign with Cubs

  13. Seat101

    It will certainly help the Cubs in their fight for a wild-card spot

  14. matt hendley

    Multi year deal evidently for Kimbrel, seems they needed his skills for more than this year. Let’s hope this is one of those Long term failure contracts. Any update on the weather

  15. WVRedlegs

    They are gathering animals in 2’s in St. Louis. Something about a big ole boat parked down on the River. Afternoon game tomorrow so it won’t be made up until Labor Day weekend.
    Can’t see them getting this one in unless they wait until midnight.

    • renbutler

      Tomorrow is a travel day for both teams after the early game, but neither has a very long trip.

      With that in mind, I can’t imagine they would be THAT motivated to wait things out all night. They could either play two tomorrow, or when the Reds come back to town in August.

      The only wild card is the fact that tomorrow also looks iffy in the rain department. So maybe they will try hard to play tonight.

  16. matt hendley

    MIA beating up on MIL again. PIT and ATL underway, as are the CHC and COL. the later 2 are scoreless. An alanta win, if the reds do not play, propells the Reds into a tie for 4th place. If the Reds play and win, and ATL wins, the Reds are out of the cellar and .5 out of third.

    • matthew hendley

      alas pitsburg did win. So no tie for fourth. The good news is that now the Reds cant do any worse then split this series. Of course they should win it today going into Philly. That will be a tough series

  17. Doug Gray

    This game has been postponed. No make up date as of yet.

    • matt hendley

      That in itself is information in itself. THat rules out the Doubleheader tomorrow

    • RedsMonk65

      Well that rots.

      Another scoop of Graeter’s everyone!

  18. Lwblogger2

    Kimbrel deal with the Cubs. 3 yes (2.5 really) and $45-million. Guess he got paid after all.

  19. Mary Beth Ellis

    That’s a wipeout folks.
    They knew better than to start with me. Told you so.

  20. Darrin

    Man, no baseball and I had to cancel my Cuba cruise today. Bummer.

    • Mary Beth Ellis

      one of these things is worse than the other

  21. matthew hendley

    Lineup posted, everything the same as yesterday. I assume everything anyway

    • Mary Beth Ellis

      Yep. I just finished today’s Game Thread about 15 minutes ago. Made the SP stat charts easy, I’ll tell ya that.

    • RojoBenjy

      Here’s hoping on some crazy way that the extra rest is what Tony D needed to rise out of his HR ball funk! Cheers