Today is the first game of three against the Brewers  (39-36) who, let’s face it,  celebrate great achievements by sending a giant foam human down a slide, but then the Reds (34-37) must bear the burden of Gapper, so let’s not discuss it any further.

MARTY BRENNAMAN IS ALL IN ON WISHING THOM A HAPPY BIRTHDAY

This photo of Thom and his sister Dawn showed up on Marty’s Instagram account today. Apparently Marty has discovered scanners and now no one is safe.

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STARTING LINEUP

BREWERS REDS
1. Jonathan Villar (SS)
2. Scooter Gennett (2B)
3. Ryan Braun (LF)
4. Hernan Perez (3B)
5. Chris Carter (1B)
6. Keon Broxton (CF)
7. Domingo Santana (RF)
8. Martin Maldonado (C)
9. Wily Peralta (P)
1. Jose Peraza (SS)
2. Eugenio Suarez (3B)
3. Joey Votto (1B)
4. Adam Duvall (LF)
5. Brandon Phillips (2B)
6. Scott Schebler (RF)
7. Tyler Holt (CF)
8. Tucker Barnhart (C)
9. Keyvius Sampson (P)

THINGS THAT MAKE ME FEEL OLD

I teach college, which means I spend 95% of my time technically troubleshooting the virtual classroom for students (“You need to click on the link on the far left column, the one that says ‘Technical Support,’ and tell me what they say”) and the remaining 5% plowing through essays.

There was just no preparation for spending large chunks of time with student writing, the large majority of which begins with the words “In society today…” When Jeremy Clarkson and I  come to power, “In society today…” will be legally replaced with “According to Whitesnake…”

Background distraction helps, which I mostly find via Netflix. I currently have 52 students and am working my way through the entirety of Friends. What’s happening with Friends is that it has slid into that moment of history I keep mentioning– ephemera– history which doesn’t even know it’s history.  It’s just being everyday life. And it’s disturbing because none of this was at all upsetting the first time I saw these episodes. Let me tell you what’s going on at Central Perk in this episode:

-Phoebe’s hair was styled using a Topsy Tail

-Ross has a new beeper and would also like to invite everyone to a “laserdisk marathon”

-Rachel is wearing a Y-necklace

-Monica’s wire band headphones end in giant foam circles

-Chandler’s huge beige desktop computer has the tropical fish screen saver

Friends. I’m telling you.  It’s worse than a funeral home ad staring back at you from the Kroger cart.

STARTING PITCHERS

ERA IP SO WHIP  DOES HE AGREE ROSS AND RACHEL WERE ON A BREAK?
Keyvius Sampson 3.90 32.1 33 1.55 Could they have BEEN any more on a break?!
Wily Peralta 5.47 103.2 75 1.59 I know!

BULLPEN’S FIXED

Simon is on the DL, so here come Matt Magill and Abel De Los Santos.

A THING FROM TWITTER

This is the most important event in the history of professional baseball.

FINAL THOUGHTS

I have a new mouse. The last one was surrendered to the depths of Concourse B of the Dallas-Ft. Worth Airport while I was frantically finishing a game thread which I wasn’t actually assigned to do. The grip is a lot more ergonomic. Can you tell?

Proud aunt Mary Beth Ellis is a freelance writer and college teacher who lives in Cincinnati, OH. Her home site, BlondeChampagne.com, has existed in at least some form since 2003, and Mary Beth has been a regular columnist with one publication or another from the age of 16. Her first book, Drink to the Lasses, was published in 2006. She currently teaches college, runs personal wine tastings, gives literary readings, and stares into the middle distance.

Join the conversation! 22 Comments

  1. Anyone want to make any guesses on attendance at tonight’s game? (A Monday night game in September featuring two teams fighting to avoid ending the season in the division’s cellar…and that features the starting pitchers Sampson vs. Peralta). I’ll guess 12,500.

    • The announced attendance will be far more than the actual number of people in the stands, that is for sure. You might be right with 12,500 but if there are more than 8-9,000 there I would be surprised.

  2. HA! I figured it out…

    The Brewers are 39-36 AT HOME.
    The Reds are 34-37 AT HOME.

    Was it a test, teach? Did I pass?

  3. Yes, exactly. Whatever.

  4. The attendance will be tickets distributed….season tickets + packages + single game. This is the number that will be announced. The actual attendance will be less than that.

  5. What time does the game start ?

  6. So Mary Beth- after 23 years teaching High School history top this! Teach 9th grade World civilizations and give an essay to 73 freshmen who make essentially the same argument with different words. After 2 hours distinguishing between a B, B-, B+, or other grade is near impossible. I used a rubric that made it much easier and faster to grade. Oh and now to the Reds- its Milwaukee

    • Please watch your profanity. Site guidelines prohibit it. Thanks.

    • Nope, no students over 5 or under 18 for me. Everyone else is too terrifying.

  7. Too bad Jocketty is leaving (ok not really)….he loves the wily veterans so signing Wily Peralta would’ve been a no-brainer although he’s not quite washed up enough yet. Let him gain some seasoning first

    • He already picked him up in his mind, still thinks Wandy is Wily and is a little confused how he is starting for the Brewers

  8. When Jeremy Clarkson and I come to power, “In society today…” will be legally replaced with “According to White Snake…”

    Love it.

    • Thank you.
      Although between this and “Friends,” I’ve very much aged myself here.

  9. Nice start there, three runs against Reds-killer Peralta.

  10. I got think despite an 0-28 skid Schlebler has been far superior than Jay Bruce since the trade. I love Jay Bruce but gotta have hope that Schebler is no AAAA all star and ML flop

  11. I like that Schebler hits the ball to left field and will take his walks but Bruce was very good for a long time.

  12. Same ol’ Sampson.

  13. That didn’t take long did it.Reds win.

  14. Are the Reds in ‘danger’ of not setting the record for most home runs allowed?

Comments are closed.

About Mary Beth Ellis

Proud aunt Mary Beth Ellis is a freelance writer and college teacher who lives in Cincinnati, OH. Her home site, BlondeChampagne.com, has existed in at least some form since 2003, and Mary Beth has been a regular columnist with one publication or another from the age of 16. Her first book, Drink to the Lasses, was published in 2006. She currently teaches college, runs personal wine tastings, gives literary readings, and stares into the middle distance.

Category

2016 Reds, Game Thread