Final game of four between the Reds (53-61) and the Dodgers (68-55.) We win this one, we take the series, and our dizzying surge from 5th place into 4th continues.


That was some good times, you guys.



It’s currently 10:07 AM with this post scheduled to go live in less than the amount of time it takes downtown drivers and the streetcar to ram into each other, and only the Reds have turned in their homework, so…uh… here you go.

UPDATE:  Finally. Stupid Dodgers.

1. Chase Utley (2B)
2. Corey Seager (SS)
3. Adrian Gonzalez (1B)
4. Yasmani Grandal (C)
5. Joc Pederson (CF)
6. Josh Reddick (RF)
7. Howie Kendrick (LF)
8. Rob Segedin (3B)
9. Scott Kazmir (P)
1. Billy Hamilton (CF)
2. Jose Peraza (SS)
3. Joey Votto (1B)
4. Adam Duvall (LF)
5. Brandon Phillips (2B)
6. Scott Schebler (RF)
7. Eugenio Suarez (3B)
8. Tucker Barnhart (C)
9. Homer Bailey (P)


Homer Bailey 3.66 19.2 27 1.37  Joey Votto does not California Kitchen-up his own locker room.
Scott Kazmir 4.41 132.2 133 1.31 Pfffffffft


Today’s Thing From Twitter comes courtesy of Poetweet, which reads every single thing you’ve ever tweeted and makes it a poem.  Here’s mine, which frankly makes far more sense than poem I’ve ever suffered through in any literature course (and, as an English major, there were A LOT of those.)

The Border
by Mary Beth Ellis

Remains of at least two umpires
In a single episode of “Mad Men.”
All Non-Dignified Pleasures

Nowhere in the parking lot.
Big enough to force this event.
Don’t want to be an airline pilot,
As a Reds fan at the moment.

Unfolding of what’s already there.
Mood. These cannot be unrelated.
I want to know what happened here.
Voyage Has Astronaut Excited

You know what, we need to see what would happen if we fed it Jose Canseco’s Twitter account. Although that might be unnecessary, as it’s high art all by itself.


2016-08-21 21.41.11

I miss the Olympics.

About The Author

Proud aunt Mary Beth Ellis is a freelance writer and college teacher who lives in Cincinnati, OH. Her home site,, has existed in at least some form since 2003, and Mary Beth has been a regular columnist with one publication or another from the age of 16. Her first book, Drink to the Lasses, was published in 2006. She currently teaches college, runs personal wine tastings, gives literary readings, and stares into the middle distance.

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76 Responses

  1. Shchi Cossack

    Today’s starting lineup…

    1.Hamilton, CF
    2.Peraza, SS
    3.Phillips, 2B
    4.Duvall, LF
    5.Suarez, 3B
    6.De Jesus, 1B
    7.Holt, RF
    8.Barnhart, C
    9.DeSclafani, P

    • Shchi Cossack

      Votto might actually benefit from a day off today. I would like to see Schebler playing every day, but he is getting plenty of playing time since his return. Holt could be playing for a roster spot in 2017 and Schebler might have a utility role on the team, so a few pinch hitting appearances for Schebler and a start for Holt isn’t misplaced.

  2. seat101

    Perhaps Joey is getting today off to make up for not getting Friday off? It was gold cup/parade day on Friday in Canada and Joey had to work

  3. earmbrister

    Not the start I had envisioned …

  4. Tct

    Think its worth pointing out today that yet again the Reds have gotten horrible production from their bench. DeJesus, Holt, and Pacheco have combined to be almost 2 wins below replacement level

    I firmly believe that the reason the Reds are in the shape they are in is because the farm hasn’t been able to produce competent, above replacement level players over the past 4 years. The Cardinals farm doesn’t produced a lot of stars, but they always have a Tommy Pham or a Greg Garcia ready to step in and produce. Since 2013, the Reds farm has basically produced Barnhart and Hamilton. And that’s really the only above replacement level guys they have had.

    Lack of depth closed the Reds window. That’s why I kind of like the strategy of going after high floor players that may not be stars, but should give you positive value.

  5. james garrett

    Looks like the B team is playing today but we will still get 4 or 5 runs and that should be enough.

  6. jazzmanbbfan

    I just heard Marty tell Mark Sheldon that he’s a bit fan of DeShields. Thankfully I’m pretty certain he has no say in who the next Reds’ manager is. Actually his comment was apparently because DeShields called out Stephenson after his bad outing last night and Marty likes public humiliation of players. Yikes.

    • Playtowin

      I fear the owner may believe Marty knows something about baseball.

  7. Jack

    Terrible play by Holt. No chance in getting him at the plate.

    • earmbrister

      I’m preferring Hernandez over Utley …

  8. muttonlettucetomato

    Disco getting hammered by the lefties… combined with the poor defense of Holt and DeJesus, and it’s looking like a tough day for the Reds already.

  9. VaRedsFan

    Not a fan of the pitcher leading off in the bot. 6th down 4-0.
    Disco strikes out, the Billy singles.

  10. preacherj

    Very smart pitching to Votto by Blanton. He has been getting that high outside strike call most of the day, and he used Joeys selectivity against him.

    • Patrick Jeter

      If every pitcher could command that part of the zone against Joey, he’d have biiig problems on his hands.

  11. muttonlettucetomato

    Neither called strike (including strike 3) on Votto was a strike according to game day. Talk about taking the bat out of his hand…

  12. preacherj

    Another example of how speed kills. SS didnt realize he had more time than he thought and led to Peraza infield hit.

  13. Cartel

    People are focused on 2018 being the year we get back to the playoffs. Given our recent performance it may be sooner

  14. msanmoore

    Well THAT’S not starting off well at all …

  15. magi210

    Ouch. Bailey getting knocked around a bit.

  16. james garrett

    Three pitches and 3 runs.In all honesty they have been killing the ball and we just got them the first two games.Yesterday and today seem just to be there day.

  17. VaRedsFan

    I swear i think A-Gon homers every series we face him

  18. james garrett

    Lets hope we don’t burn out the pen today.This game is over before we even come up to bat but it happens sometimes.

  19. VaRedsFan

    Entering game, Gonzalez was 10-23 vs Bailey…5 HR’s. Trend continues

  20. VaRedsFan

    Gonzalez now has 16 HR’s in 62 games vs. the Reds

  21. VaRedsFan

    Billy walks so Peraza swings at 1st pitch.

  22. james garrett

    Homer will have ups and downs the rest of this year but I expect many more ups next year.Dodgers offense is very good.Every starter has an OBP of 325 or higher.

  23. Brian

    I doubt Homer will ever live up to his contract. I felt that way before the injuries.

  24. james garrett

    I can agree with that Brian but I would take him over anybody else they unloaded except Cueto.In this day and time a 500 pitcher is getting tons of money.

  25. IndyRedMan

    I just saw on ESPN where Brandon Nimmo received the Player of the Week for the PCL. I’m so glad we passed on the red-hot hitting Nimmo for a guy that IMMEDIATELY upon joining the Reds organization went from starting to only being able to pinch-hit twice a week!

    • liptonian

      Votto can go 2 for 4 today and his OBP will go down post ASB. That’s not fair.

  26. Patrick Jeter

    Holy cow, Homer… 10 base runners, 0 Ks. That’s not bueno.

    Nice to see Reds keeping it close, though. Two more hits for Peraza and Schebler. Nice to see.

  27. james garrett

    Like I said Dodgers can hit.It was asking a lot for Smith to keep it close and he didn’t.Bottom of lineup goes back to back.

  28. Frog 'em

    Did we actually see Josh Smith yawning as he watched the 2nd HR go out of the park?

  29. mdhabel

    welp so much for that comeback. Red’s bullpen reminding us they are still capable of doing Reds bullpen things!

  30. Tct

    “Unfolding of what’s already there.
    Mood. These cannot be unrelated.
    I want to know what happened here.”

    Mind. Blown. Pretty much sums up the human condition right there. Very post modern.

    Also, BHam and Peraza both sporting OBP’s north of .320 now. Baby steps!

  31. magi210

    Pitching optional day today apparently. Just going to set it on the tee.

  32. Patrick Jeter

    I had not heard of Segedin and Toles before this series. Now they go B2B. Fun times.

    • Frog 'em

      Makes you wonder how disciplined the pitchers are wrt remaining focused and intense for every batter.

  33. james garrett

    I like Smith but the reality is he is just a fill in at this point.You either let him get hammered or burn out the pen.Bad situation when you starter can’t get out of the third inning.Of course Kazmir never made it either.

  34. james garrett

    I guess you just let him get hammered.Hopefully as we go forward we can have another lefty or two in the pen.Dodgers have a bunch of them today and would have been nice to match up better.Next year will be better.

  35. Patrick Jeter

    Oh, geez. What’s the # stand at now? (The fact that I don’t have to specify what number and most of you will get this means a lot…)

    • liptonian

      I actually find it amusing in a sadistic sort of way how they keep on keeping on adding to the #

      • magi210

        Mark Sheldon provides the answer: 24.

      • Patrick Jeter

        Nice! Thanks! No access to Twitter at work, of course.

  36. james garrett

    I vote we just save the pen and put it on a tee.Four homers in one inning is just a little too much don’t you think.Diaz is just a fill in as well.

  37. Dan

    slugfest going on. bad day to be a Reds pitcher but our batters will look like they had a great game.

  38. muttonlettucetomato

    Ugly bullpen day for sure. With the Dodgers having one of the best bullpens in the majors, it’s going to be a steep climb back for sure.

  39. Dan

    From the looks of the score I thought that Cody Reed was pitching.

  40. IndyRedMan

    12 runs on 15 hits in the 5th….its like May all over again! Nothing against our guys but sometimes I get the feeling that any regular would hit 10+ HRs playing in GABP and guys like Adrian Gonzales would hit 45 instead of 27 or whatever they hit in big parks.

    Josh Smith….he’s had some decent outings but he’s not very talented. I would consider Lamb as a lefty-lefty guy and co-long man along w/Sampson although Sampson isn’t that great either.

  41. Dan

    Just about another week and rosters expand. Any thoughts on who gets called up?

  42. Shchi Cossack

    Geez, what a game to miss out on! The Reds pitching certainly not having a good day, but you gotta credit the hitters for not packing it in today. The Old Cossack just wishes he had access to an ongoing game summary or game boxscore since no video or audio is possible.

    • magi210

      As of the 7th:

      J Peraza SS 4 3 3 0 0 0 .297 .330 .366
      J Votto 1B 4 2 3 3 0 0 .311 .435 .524
      A Duvall LF 2 1 1 2 1 0 .243 .296 .523

      Nice from the 2-3-4 spots.

    • Shchi Cossack

      Yeah, thanks Jim, but gameday quit working on the Old Cossack’s piece of poopy computer a few months ago.

      • ohiojimw

        Thot maybe you were in a situation with an accursed not so smart phone or tablet where typing links or navigating was a bridge too far but a direct link you could click on might fit the bill….

  43. ohiojimw

    I was out for an afternoon walk and came back to see that the Dodgerooties had put up 6 in the 5th. I looked at Gameday and saw that Josh Smith apparently lost it in the blink of an eye, Dusty B came to mind. I recalled how when he would suffer one of his spells of lack of urgency (in most of our minds), he would typically talk about the pitcher losing it so quickly there was no time to get someone else warmed up and into the game ahead of major damage being done. That may have actually been the case with Smith today….

  44. IndyRedMan

    Man…its funny how Peraza seemed like kind of a disappointment this year but since Zack went out he must be hitting .600!!!

    • ncboiler

      The only thing disappointing about Peraza this year is the way the Reds have handles him

  45. Jeff

    Highlight ot the game … Reds reliever Josh Smith did NOT give up a home run to the first batter he faced. Follow up comments really not necessary.

  46. TR

    Jumbo and Wood tried to keep it close, but seven homeruns by L.A. is tough to overcome.

  47. msanmoore

    Oh why do I keep looking at the score!!??!! #hateadumpsterfire

  48. MrRed

    Just tuned in today. So, how we lookin’?

  49. CaribRed

    Checked earlier and it was 4-1. That escalated quickly.

  50. renbutler

    The Rams just tacked on the extra point to extend their lead over the Bengals, 17-7.

  51. seat101

    I apologize, everyone. I have read none of the previous comments.

    So this is a repeat, I apologize.

    I apologize.

    Only two more men have to get on base for Joey to get a chance to hit for the cycle in the ninth.

  52. CI3J

    Box score for the game:
    1st quarter
    Todd Gurley runs 11 yards for a TOUCHDOWN, 2 point conversion IS GOOD
    Rams 8 Bengals 0

    2nd quarter
    Todd Gurley runs 2 yards for a TOUCHDOWN, PAT is GOOD
    Rams 13 Bengals 0

    3rd quarter
    Andy Dalton is sacked for A SAFETY
    Rams 15 Bengals 0

    4th quarter
    Greg Zuerlein 33 yard Field Goal IS GOOD

    Rams 18 Bengals 0

    Andy Dalton passes to AJ Green for 14 yards and a TOUCHDOWN, 2 point conversion IS GOOD
    Rams 18 Bengals 8

    • renbutler

      An eight-run, 13-hit outburst by the hot-hitting Reds!

      Hey, there is a bright side to all this… 😉