Final game of three in Milwaukee. Reds (48-67) won the last two, which means the Brewers (51-64)  are sad at life right now.


I will be in church when this is scheduled to go live, which is where we all need to be living ever since the Ross Ohlendorf  Late Night With Stomp The Sure Win Extravaganza, so I’mma just assume what happens here. Billy Hamilton is day to day after jamming his wrist. ( UPDATE: Jam acceptable. He’s in the lineup.) Poor Cody Reed is involved, though, so we can all pretty much  guess how this is going to unfold.

1. Billy Hamilton (CF)
2. Zack Cozart (SS)
3. Joey Votto (1B)
4. Adam Duvall (LF)
5. Brandon Phillips (2B)
6. Scott Schebler (RF)
7. Eugenio Suarez (3B)
8. Ramon Cabrera (C)
9. Cody Reed (P)
1. Keon Broxton (CF)
2. Orlando Arcia (SS)
3. Ryan Braun (LF)
4. Chris Carter (1B)
5. Hernan Perez (3B)
6. Scooter Gennett (2B)
7. Manny Pina (C)
8. Jake Elmore (RF)
9. Wily Peralta (P)


Wily Peralta 6.38 72.0 48 1.82 Yes
Cody Reed 6.36 46.2 42 1.67 I mean dude’s 0-6 and this whole thing is starting to play out like a lesser Merrie Melodies episode

Welcome to the 2016 season, when your pitcher has an ERA north of six, but no worries, so does the opposition.


A couple years ago, I had a residency at the American Antiquarian Society. It contains some of the oldest printed material in the history of the United States. I went there to study Revolutionary War-era ephemera. Ephemera is bits and scraps of daily living no one thought important to the wide scheme of life–receipts, fliers, shopping lists, ads. Ephemera is the crap of life.

So of course I am attracted to it. Ephemera tells the story of who a person, a nation, and a culture is. You can labor for weeks over nice fancy Declaration of Independence and all its spellchecked “accordingly all experience hath shewn”s, but nothing’s going to tell me who a person truly is until I’ve seen the interior of his shopping cart and the contents of her purse.

Ephemera is us. It is the unconscious normal of life. The 80’s we old folks experienced is not the loss of Challenger or the 1984 election; it is a box of Pepperidge Farm Star Wars Cookies, my Dukes of Hazzard Matchbox car, the unquestionable necessity of a trip to the record store in order to own music, and the vastly different way the Pepsi logo looked. It’s why the “Time After Time” McDonald’s commercial punches me directly in the tear ducts when I see it; the details of the Styrofoam containers and boxy Happy Meals are long-buried details of a normalcy I’d long since forgotten. The detritus of the 90’s, in the same way, surrounded us but did not consciously impress upon us until we’re forcibly reminded of their absence:  Long distance call cards, AOL disks, scrunchies.

These are the surroundings which create an age, and these are why we instinctively look at the uniform style of a baseball team in the instant we attempt to date place it. Are there stripes or no stripes?  Polyester or vests?  Exactly how stupid are the caps?

Now that we are becoming increasingly crapless, we look to digital flash-bys. Sometimes these are important.

Sometimes you look at these and you know, you just know, that in about seven years or so this is going to be a punchline of MC Hammer proportions, and utterly inexplicable in about a century. In 200 years, people will look at this the way we currently side-eye ancestors who cleaned their homes by hurling the contents of their bedpans out into the street.

File Aug 13, 11 39 30 PM

Well done, Tugas. Well. Done.


I desperately wanted my Thing from Twitter to be truly spectacular Redleg Nation retweet of the Reds account. It was a GIF of Billy Hamilton hugging Joey Votto’s head has he hung dejectedly over the dugout fence (you really, really needed to see this GIF.) And then Billy Hamilton gently pats Joey Votto on the back, and Joey Votto  scowls and swats at him kind of like this.

And what Billy Hamilton does next is not flinch at all, and instead continues to pet Joey Votto with immense calmness, and it was just about the most amazing Votto-involved footage I’ve ever seen, and I include in this statement this one time he tried to slide. It was a most hypnotic combination of Angry Votto and Brooding Votto. I must have watched it fourteen times on a constant loop, with each conclusion flapping my hands around and squeaking like the American Antiquarian residency scholar I am.

I took a brief break to attend to such necessities of life as inhaling, and then went back to my feed because I was going to write a Pulitzer Prize-winning treatise about clubhouse relations and personality interactions that was going to heal all wars forever and end poverty, all inspired by this GIF.



where you goooooooooooooooooooo? Where you gooooooooooo, giiiiiiiiiif?

If any of you happened to capture or Beta-videotape or DVR this compelling footage of Billy Hamilton  remaining absolutely still as a very large jungle cat wearing a Reds uniform lunged at him, let Redleg Nation know immediately. It was the most significant moment in this club’s history since stirrups.


You guys just really had to see this gif.


86 Responses

  1. mwvohio

    Mary Beth I am upset with you now. You told me about this gif and I want to see the gif but I cannot see the gif. This is akin to me telling you all about my misprinted stamp collection that is worth exactly nothing but a lot of interesting stories and then saying “Oh and it all burnt up in a fire twelve years ago so you can’t see it but trust me it was amazing.”

    I will forgive you because that is what we as humans should all strive to do for one another but still that was a bit of a tease for a Sunday afternoon.

    • Mary Beth Ellis

      Imagine how *I* feel never being able to see it again. Tis far worse.

      I want to know why it was removed. It was extremely important for the forward movement of the human race.

      • Gaffer

        Votto was joking, as always. Even that fan thing last week was a joke. He ruined it by apologizing.

  2. mikemartz

    Final game of three in Baltimore.

    Baltimore? When did the Brewers relocate? 😉

    • Mary Beth Ellis

      Phelps brain overtake, sorry.

  3. mikemartz

    No need to be sorry. Love your game threads!!

    • Mary Beth Ellis

      Thanks! I tend to mix up nightmare helltowns I wouldn’t live in if you paid me, so thanks for the correction.

  4. msanmoore

    Take note of the right fielder there, kids. If he “assumes” and doesn’t back that one up, I’m thinking BHam scores.

  5. preacherj

    He may be a great hitter……..

  6. james garrett

    Baddddddddddd baserunning again.

  7. Darrin

    Bad based in I g and a leadoff walk….not starting well fellas

  8. DHud

    Billy could steal 500 bases, this team is still terrible on the base paths

  9. james garrett

    Back to back walks after being 0-2 on both batters.He knows he can’t do stuff like that he just needs to focus and execute.

  10. msanmoore

    Why am I smelling the scent of a dumpster fire with nobody out in the 1st inning?

  11. preacherj

    I Dont think he even checked the runners. Gotta give your catcher a chance

    • preacherj

      He is still not looking at the runners.

      • preacherj

        …and then nobody covers a bag.

  12. gusnwally

    My favorite Brewers fan is absent again today. I feel I may be becoming suicidal.

  13. james garrett

    Getting hit and hit hard is one thing but lack of focus on the runners is a different thing.Somebody pull him aside and get in his face.

    • Jack

      He should have just pitched from the windup. He had no care in the world that there were guys on base.

  14. james garrett

    Look I have said that Reed has nothing to learn at AAA and he needs to learn to pitch at the big league levels but 3 walks and 4 stolen base in the first inning is unacceptable.Throwing strikes and checking runners leaves no room for discussion because both have to be done even in little league.

    • preacherj

      Yep. But with Peralta on the mound, we are still strangely enough in it. But they need to stop the TOOTBLANS and defensive lapses as well. Gotta help out your struggling pitchers

      • Reaganspad

        Reed does not look like a major league pitcher

        Sampson looks more major league ready

  15. vegastypo

    Somebody tell me again how this is good for Cody Reed. The guy deserves a break to re-establish his confidence in AAA. Maybe try again in mid September.

  16. james garrett

    Very disappointing performance by Reed in the first inning after doing so well his last start.No watching the game but there is no way his head was in the game at all in that inning.

  17. james garrett

    Reed doesn’t appear to be by himself with leaving the brain disengaged as PREACHERJ reminded me just now.

  18. Jack

    Nice hustle on thst groundout Brandon. First you don’t cover 2nd on Carters Stolen base and then you basically walk to 1st.

    • preacherj

      Im going to credit that to being hurt……this time.

    • VaRedsFan

      Brandon fouled a ball off his foot/leg. Obviously (to most) it was bothering him.

  19. VaRedsFan

    They showed the Reds dugout, and Billy was sitting next to Votto, chatting it up. Gotta think that Billy’s recent good stretch has a little Votto influence.

  20. vegastypo

    Geez, Price said he ‘inadvertently’ gave the suicide squeeze signal last night before Suarez hit the home run? Really? Get this guy outta here, please.

    • ohiojimw

      Yeah, I’m wondering how you accidentally give a suicide squeeze sign. They always say that for safety sake, the batter receiving a suicide sign makes an acknowledgement gesture to the 3B coach. I guess the 3B coach doesn’t send an ack to the bench in similar fashion? Or maybe Price wasn’t looking for an ack since he didn’t realize he’d sent the sign?

  21. preacherj

    Unless its the pitcher, why in heck would you run a sacrifice play the way Reed is pitchin

  22. Mack Redlegs Fanatic (@FanaticMack)

    We gotta be patient with Cody, because personally I think he’s a Steven Matz in the making. Just has to learn how to pitch, but it’s so frustrating watching 0-2 counts turn into walk, walk, hit batter. Especially when you are dumb enough to draft Reed today like I was thinking he’s due for a good game and it’s vs the Brewers. lol
    Peraza needs to be up and playing.
    If the Reds use “a rebuilding season” as an excuse to bring back Bryan Price yet for another season I will picket GABP.

    • Chuck Schick

      Will you actually march in front of the stadium with a picket sign? How long will your little picket demonstration last…an hour…a day….a month? Do you think the Reds executives will look out the window and go ” Oh,no!!!! We have someone picketing!! My God…what do we do?”

    • Jack

      At this point I hope he just can be Dan Straily. Let’s not get crazy yet until he starts showing something.

  23. preacherj

    Bullpen in the second inning. Any guesses to the final Brewers total?

  24. muttonlettucetomato

    So much for Cody Reed. That was some of the ugliest 2 innings of starting pitching I’ve seen from the Reds in a while.

  25. Darrin

    I think I could have hit that pitch out

  26. sezwhom

    I’m sure Reed has huge upside potential but right now, potential had left the yard and mound. Ouch.

  27. james garrett

    I agree with you MACK we must be patient with Reed but when you get a hitter at any level 0-2 you can’t walk him let alone two in arrow to start an inning.I just don’t any focus with him and others to start this game and that is very discouraging as a fan.We had a chance for a sweep against a bad pitcher and we don’t show up.

  28. preacherj

    Good thing Braun didnt hit that into the seats. He could have killed somebody.

  29. Indy RedMan

    I believe Lamb is hurt but Adleman is pitching well at AAA. Lets see how Sampson does….he outpitched everyone at AAA this year and might deserve a chance. Reed just isn’t ready and forcing him back out there is only hurting him!

    • ohiojimw

      Question here is why was Reed sent back out to finish giving the game away after throwing 47 pitches in the 1st? That was a message to somebody. The question is to who?

      I’d guess the next time this starting slot comes up it will be Sampson, Adelman or R.Stephenson making the start because the only reason to put a guy through double jeopardy like Reed was today is to make sure he remembers how bad it feels to be bad..

      • Reaganspad

        He is 4 starts overdue to be sent down

        He is not learning anything at 0-9

  30. VaRedsFan

    Typical series for Braun vs. the Reds. 2 more HR’s

  31. Indy RedMan

    And don’t get me started on Votto! Yes….he is a maestro with the bat and with his eye even though its like a better Mark Grace in his prime with a ton of singles!

    His baserunning though is beyond bad! He daydreams at 2nd on Friday and goes back to 2nd with 2 outs on a liner. I’ve never seen anyone do that? Yesterday Duvall hits a 3 hop double to the track in LF and Votto doesn’t make 3rd? What was he doing? What did he see? Braun has a weak arm so does Votto read scouting reports? Very disappointing for a guy with his experience and ability! This team needs a leader. His salary demands that he is a leader on this team whether he wants to be or not!!

  32. Carl Sayre

    I am by no stretch ready to give up on Reed but if it is not to late to get him 2 starts at Louisville it might be a good idea. He will not learn anything in 2 meaningless starts in the minors but it may remind him he is a good pitcher. I love giving young guys chances in the spot our Reds are in but pitchers more than other players have fragile egos send him down and let him taste some success. When I say I am not ready to give up on Reed I mean get him to the big leagues every chance for at least the next 2 seasons and I don’t think it will take that, as poor as he has pitched IMHO he is close to being that 5th guy in the rotation and depending what others do maybe better than that!!!!!!!

    • Reaganspad

      Nobody is giving up on him but not everyone is ready for the majors

      Lorenzen had some struggles last year but was still competing

      Cody needs more time at AAA regardless of what Bryan Price says

      I am not sure how much more of Schebler I can take right now. Duvall has made such great adjustments. Schebler does not yet look capable of adjusting

  33. preacherj

    I soooooooooo dislike Ryan Braun for so many reasons.

  34. Darrin

    Apparently hamilrun is also hamiljump. Hey-OOOOO

  35. preacherj

    Everyone is getting fooled on Peraltas offspeed stuff now.

  36. TR

    What a difference a day makes. But, at least, the Reds take another series. Now they have to get ready for the upcoming 10 game home stand.

  37. VaRedsFan

    1st hit by someone other than Billy. Hamilton scores on a pop up double by Votto that somehow drops. Nice 3 hit day for BHam in an otherwise quiet day for the Reds bats.

  38. preacherj

    Welch said he loved the last pitch Sampson threw up there at 76mph. Probably reminded him of of his fastball.

  39. Hanawi

    Solid outing by Sampson. Really think they should give him a few starts. He seems much more comfortable in that role than the late inning bullpen guy based on his AAA work.

  40. TR

    Time for Sampson to be in the starting rotation and for Reed to either work in relief or get a couple starts in L’ville, and bring up Adelman for the relief corps.