Forsooth, today beginneth a series of three betwixt thy Reds of Cincinnati (34-58) and the accursed Braves of Atlanta (32-60) in the lauded Series of the Bloody Awful.
THE BEST THING TOM BROWNING SAID DURING THE RADIO BROADCAST ABOUT JOHN LAMB‘S ONE-WAY TICKET TO LOUISVILLE PERFORMANCE ON SATURDAY
“This wasn’t his best day. Well, actually, it was his worst day.”
This is me in Middle of Freaking Nowhere, Colorado, at the age of six. I feel it necessary to clarify that I was not then, nor am I now, A Little Ohio State Buckeye. When I confronted my mother with this fraudulent representation, she said, “You wanted everybody we saw in Colorado to know you were from Ohio, and I saw this shirt for a dollar at a McAlpin’s Moonlight Sale.” So.
Even as a first grader, I was on the leading edge of #represent and #HOME.
Some things, though, don’t change. I returned to Colorado last week with my husband, Josh The Pilot, for approximately the same amount of time necessary to take these pictures:
WHAT THIS HAS TO DO WITH THE REDS
I was wearing my 2016 version of #represent gear in the parking lot of our hotel, where saw a family whose scattered members were wearing Reds shirts. After the perfunctory preliminaries (“Delhi!” “West Chester!”) I pointed to his grandson’s tiny Reds outfit. We both then turned to one another, grimaced, and shook our heads.
No words were necessary. Pain bonds us beyond state lines.
“WHAT IS IT ABOUT OHIO THAT MAKES PEOPLE WANT TO LEAVE THE PLANET?”
Speaking of Ohio!, happy 95th birthday to fellow Buckeye John Glenn: First free man to orbit the planet, oldest man in space, marker of punctuation.
And 47 years ago today, another Ohioan, Neil Armstrong, was making final inspections of his landing craft, Eagle, and preparing to enter lunar orbit.
|1. Zack Cozart (SS)
2. Billy Hamilton (CF)
3. Joey Votto (1B)
4. Jay Bruce (RF)
5. Adam Duvall (LF)
6. Brandon Phillips (2B)
7. Eugenio Suarez (3B)
8. Tucker Barnhart (C)
9. Brandon Finnegan (P)
|1. Gordon Beckham (2B)
2. Adonis Garcia (3B)
3. Freddie Freeman (1B)
4. Nick Markakis (RF)
5. Jeff Francoeur (LF)
6. Ender Inciarte (CF)
7. Anthony Recker (C)
8. Erick Aybar (SS)
9. Matt Wisler (P)
|ERA||IP||SO||WHIP||IS HE A LITTLE OHIO STATE BUCKEYE?|
|Matt Wisler||4.47||106.2||82||1.28||Yes! Matt is from Bryan, OH, and if his mommy dressed him in a similar shirt, it would not have been under false pretenses. He signed with Ohio State before joining the Padres.|
|Brandon Finnegan||4.71||101.1||73||1.41||No. Brandon is from Texas, which means he regards Ohio as part of a separate and unequal country.|
TWO THINGS FROM TWITTER
— Red Reporter (@redreporter) July 18, 2016
Phillips doing drills in field before lineup is posted. But Price said he was in it unless he couldn't go #reds
— Mark Sheldon (@m_sheldon) July 18, 2016
Votto went 4 for 5 last night, so Marty Brennaman was reduced to posting a picture of his dog on Instagram.
Proud aunt Mary Beth Ellis is a freelance writer and college teacher who lives in Cincinnati, OH. Her home site, BlondeChampagne.com, has existed in at least some form since 2003, and Mary Beth has been a regular columnist with one publication or another from the age of 16. Her first book, Drink to the Lasses, was published in 2006. She currently teaches college, runs personal wine tastings, gives literary readings, and stares into the middle distance.