See, I told you the pitching and the hitting and the baserunning were all fixed. We may now reasonably expect a 1.000 winning percentage for the remainder of the season.
Rubber game of a series of 3 between we (31-54) and they (52-31.)
EMBRYOS TO BE NAMED LATER
Congratulations to our pity All-Star, Adam Duvall, who wasn’t a pity All-Star for a nanosecond before people immediately began demanding his ouster. Poll: At what point do you keep young players to develop them, and at what point do you load them into a giant slingshot situated on the Banks to exchange them for even younger prospects? What’s your personal SELL SELL SELL breakpoint?
What is the balance between having at least some veterans to ensure the bullpen rookies carry the Disney Princess backpack full of snacks, and always standing on our tiptoes in search of the next great Person Who Maybe Won’t Suck? Should we just heave off all prospects we have now to get the pick of the Little League World Series champions, so that we can use them for leverage to trade for embryos to be named later?
|1. Zack Cozart (SS)
2. Billy Hamilton (CF)
3. Joey Votto (1B)
4. Adam Duvall (RF)
5. Eugenio Suarez (3B)
6. Brandon Phillips (2B)
7. Jose Peraza (LF)
8. Tucker Barnhart (C)
9. Anthony DeSclafani (P)
|1. Ben Zobrist (2B)
2. Kris Bryant (RF)
3. Anthony Rizzo (1B)
4. Willson Contreras (LF)
5. Tommy La Stella (3B)
6. Jason Heyward (CF)
7. Addison Russell (SS)
8. Miguel Montero (C)
9. Adam Warren (P)
|ERA||IP||SO||WHIP||SHOULD HE BE TRADED?|
|Adam Warren||4.56||25.2||18||1.40||I mean his ERA is the envy of the entire Reds bullpen right now|
|Anthony DeSclafani||1.78||30.1||23||1.29||He is performing well and has been on the team for more than 5 seconds, so OBVIOUSLY|
A THING FROM TWITTER
I do like the occasional throwback jersey, but when you’re not entirely sure what your team’s actual daily uniform looks like, the Special Occasion Fashion Show starts to spin out of control. Here, for example, is today’s offering, which looks like someone ran out of ugly stripy fabric and panicked and started stapling red felt from the Christmas tree skirt to cover the gap, not unlike what happens when I try to wrap a present.
— Mark Sheldon (@m_sheldon) July 6, 2016
I don’t want to ever live in a world without West Side church festivals with basket booths. I of course put a ticket down on this Waffle House Welcome Package, which seems to come complete with much-needed bleach to pour over your booth and table so the area is safe for human habitation. Catholics think of everything.
Proud aunt Mary Beth Ellis is a freelance writer and college teacher who lives in Cincinnati, OH. Her home site, BlondeChampagne.com, has existed in at least some form since 2003, and Mary Beth has been a regular columnist with one publication or another from the age of 16. Her first book, Drink to the Lasses, was published in 2006. She currently teaches college, runs personal wine tastings, gives literary readings, and stares into the middle distance.