Good news, everybody! The pitching staff is fixed, and  so is the fact we never score any runs!

In the tradition of yesterday’s great triumph of human athleticism, let’s celebrate by being even further in last place (30-53) and re-playing the NL Central leaders (52-29.) Two of three.


Certain Rumblings on Twitter against Jeff Brantley have begun to surface, accusing him of a Marty-like dim view of Joey Votto. I am not a fan of a Marty-like dim view of Votto, but it’s not enough to turn me against the Cowboy.

Cowboy doesn’t get enough credit in this town. He had the impossible job of taking over for a homegrown icon, and he stepped into it as easily as possible.  He could never be Joe, and, wisely, he knew it. So he was just himself, and that is more than enough.

Maybe I took to Brantley it’s because I passed the last decade out of town and rarely got to watch the game, but $19.00 a year to saw to it that I could at least hear it and be mentally home for three hours. The slow transition to Brantley was taking place about this time, and I don’t recall feeling traumatized by the inevitable. You can miss Nuxy and still appreciate a fine explanation of why Cowboy feels he must choose trivia answer A instead of C.

He doesn’t take himself or his trivia answers too seriously, he allows the game to breathe, and his pitcher’s insight is valuable to fans like me who last successfully threw something at a target by holding a tea bag directly over a trash can and gingerly letting go of the string. The other day, for example, Brantley pointed out that one of the reasons minor league pitchers can’t magically bounce of Louisville throwing strikes is that they need to learn how big league batters use the velocity of their own pitches against them. That was useful and interesting. Let’s love us some useful and interesting, fanbase.


“I hope they never broadcast a game together. You would have no idea what was going on because it would be nine innings about food.”


1. Zack Cozart (SS)
2. Billy Hamilton (CF)
3. Joey Votto (1B)
4. Jay Bruce (RF)
5. Adam Duvall (LF)
6. Brandon Phillips (2B)
7. Eugenio Suarez (3B)
8. Ramon Cabrera (C)
9. Brandon Finnegan (P)
1. Ben Zobrist (RF)
2. Kris Bryant (3B)
3. Anthony Rizzo (1B)
4. Willson Contreras (LF)
5. Addison Russell (SS)
6. Jason Heyward (CF)
7. David Ross (C)
8. John Lackey (P)
9. Javier Baez (2B)


I have just dedicated the past twenty swear-filled minutes of my life deleting, copying, and restructuring, trying to get this stupid graph and the bizarre spacing of this post to bend to my angry will. Fill in the incorrect blanks yourselves.

John Lackey 3.27 104.2 107 1.04 ES CALIENTE?: I mean, he’s tall, I guess.
Brandon Finnegan 4.48 96.1 69 1.39 ES CALIENTE? No one on this team is caliente.



I mean at least our eagle would come back to us…. wouldn’t it?
No, actually, it would probably track the grooved highway directly from GABP to Louisville and points below.
I hope your Fourth of July was at least 1% as  American as this guy’s.

73 Responses

  1. Whoa Bundy!

    I like the cowboy! He provides great insight into the game ans isn’t a homer m

    • Chad Jones

      I like the Cowboy also. Been following him since college at Mississippi State(which also is my alma mater). He, also like myself, grew up in the Deep South a Reds fan and always wanted to play for them. As soon as his contract ran out with the Giants he sought out and signed with his favorite team. Hey, the Cowboy is true Red.

  2. msanmoore

    OK – that mascot is just SCARY!!!

  3. Nick Kirby

    I really like Jeff Brantley. He has developed as a broadcaster exceptionally well over the years, and I actually really enjoy his play by play. That was why I was very disappointed to hear him constantly bash Joey Votto on Friday night. It seemed to come out of nowhere. I guess he has spent to much time with Marty.

    • Patrick Jeter

      Agree with this. It caught me off guard so I was a bit angry at it. Overall, I’m sure every announcer bashes everyone from time to time.

      • streamer88

        I’ll still never forget the time I was at GABP to watch Edwin Scissorhands hit a walk-off homer not 5 seconds after Brantley commented, “There are clutch hitters in this league, but Mr. Encarnacion is NOT one of them.”

        My brother was at home watching and told me about it. We laughed about it for a good 3-4 days. Apparently there Brantley was broadcast silent for the celebration. Just awesome.

      • IndyRedMan

        I remember that too and I didn’t like ES either! The funny thing is Brantley isn’t a homer but I’ve never known him to rag on a guy like that before or since?

      • DenL42

        If I remember correctly, he emphatically said, “He is not, not NOT a clutch hitter” immediately before the home run.

    • Mary Beth Ellis

      I didn’t hear that particular call and was surprised to hear about it. It caused a bit of a Twitter storm, so I think a lot of people felt the same way.

  4. Robert Fout

    Mary Beth you are hilarious! No one on this team is “Caliente”. Love it!!

    • Mary Beth Ellis

      Votto is caliente… just not *elite* caliente.

      • cfd3000

        That’s funny. Not sure you can sustain that FAJIP (Funny Average on Jokes in Play) but it’s definitely funny.

  5. IndyRedMan

    I like the Cowboy too! He breaks down pitching as well as anyone I’ve ever listened to.

    On another note….John Hetlinger was asked about the Reds/Cubs matchups this year and screamed “Something gotta give…..somethings gotta give NOW”. Google this old-timer if you want to chuckle at something as funny as the Reds season is sad!!

  6. Patrick Jeter

    Peraza needs to be optioned to AAA. Price has shown he has no desire to start him enough to warrant being in the bigs.

    • Shchi Cossack

      No doubt! I don’t see ANY continuity between on-field management and roster management for the Reds, or maybe more accurately I don’t see any effective on-field management or effective roster management for the Reds.

      • Patrick Jeter

        I thought for sure after Billy got hit in the head with the ball we’d see Peraza start at least 1 game out there for Billy Nope.

  7. Matt WI

    Atta boy, Finnegan. I’ve said it before… I know there is a lot of buzz for Cody Reed, but I think Finnegan really has something.

  8. preacherj

    Looked like he came off the bag to me

  9. Matt WI

    Yeah, baby. Cozart! It means nothing, but it’d be nice for the boys to take the Cubs to the woodshed just once this year.

  10. preacherj

    Is Votto paid to walk? I’ve lost track.

    • Matt WI

      It’s more of an internship, really.

      • Patrick Jeter

        Yeah, he’s still learning the ropes! Maybe one of these days he’ll be ready to contribute. IF we’re lucky!

      • Shchi Cossack

        We have to cut Votto some slack. He still has 7 years to get things figured out before he would be FA eligible.

  11. Shchi Cossack

    3 BB (Hamilton, Votto & Bruce) in the 1st inning & 2 runs.

    Then in the 2nd, a failed sac bunt resulted in 2 outs and runner on 1B, but Cozart bailed out Price with a 2-run HR.

    • Patrick Jeter

      Maybe eventually everyone will realize not making outs is a good thing! Making outs is bad!

    • Shchi Cossack

      Another BB and another run scored! Geez, these walks are boring.

      • preacherj

        Not to mention running up pitch counts

  12. Shchi Cossack

    The Reds have turned the lineup over twice during the 1st 3 innings. We may see some more OF work for the Cubbies bullpen today, assuming Maddon can influence the on-field decisions from the clubhouse.

  13. preacherj

    I absolutely despise the “a solo homer can be a rally killer” saying.

    • preacherj

      Well, that rally must be buried now.

  14. Patrick Jeter

    That Kris Bryant kid can hit the ball, eh?

  15. Patrick Jeter

    HEY! Remember when the Reds were up 5-0 and it seemed like we might get an easy win? Me neither.

  16. Chad Jones

    This HR stuff against the Cubs is getting ridiculous. I mean, some of their batters like Bryant(36%) and Russell(40%) hit most of their homers against us. Do they have out signs? Are we terrible at scouting reports? Do our pitchers just suck? A combination of the 3 or something else? Other teams, as Mad Dog said on MLB Network, have been shoving it up the Cubs butts, and just because they mash our pitching doesn’t mean that much.

  17. Patrick Jeter

    “Interesting” stat of the day…

    There are 379 pitchers who have thrown 20 innings in the bigs this year.

    John Moscot was 378th of 379 in HR/FB% at 37%.
    Cody Reed is 379th of 379 at 38.1%.

    Sort of like BABIP for a hitter, HR/FB rate for a pitcher generally normalizes somewhat. Controlling homers is a skill, for sure, but no hitter in history hits at a 38% HR/FB rate, so we shouldn’t expect a pitcher to have such a number either.

  18. IndyRedMan

    I guess the wind must be howling out? Either way Finnegan just can’t keep the ball in the park…EVER? Pretty much everyone we have gets taken deep regularly but I called this one early in April with all his high fastballs? You have to work the knees in mlb unless you have monster stuff!! No lead matter to this team?

    • Patrick Jeter

      You, my friend, like question marks more than everyone I’ve ever known.

      • IndyRedMan

        This whole franchise is a question with little to no answers. Am I wrong…lol????????

      • Patrick Jeter

        Haha! Well done. Yes, yes it is.

      • DHud

        I’ve noticed that as well, Patrick? I have to read everything with a trailing off tone?

  19. preacherj

    Not super crazy about the Hamilton sacrifice, except it could have turned into a hit, but Joey brought him home.

    • Patrick Jeter

      Yeah… playing for 1 run against the Cubs is conceding a loss.

  20. Patrick Jeter

    Just a reminder… Brandon Finnegan has thrown more balls than any other pitcher in MLB.

  21. Patrick Jeter

    At 23 yrs old, Javy Baez has 112 professional home runs (18 in MLB).

  22. DHud

    Stop. Pitching. To Bryant.

    Before I have a stroke, please.

    • IndyRedMan

      You mean Addison Russell? Atleast Bryant can hit other teams unlike Russell. We make him look like he deserved all the hype….which he doesn’t. He doesn’t do squat against anyone else.

      • IndyRedMan

        Russell is .241 lifetime with a career total of 24 HRs now! Ernie Bank Lite now has 7 against the Reds and no more than 3 against anyone else.

      • DHud

        No, I’m just a little late to the party today.

        But Russel is making a case for himself as well

  23. dcrreds

    Is it possible to see a chart of the pitch locations for Bryant’s home runs? Specifically the 9 against the Reds. It seems to me that Bryant destroys middle-high inside pitches. How many times are the Reds going to make the same mistake and pitch him there?

    • Patrick Jeter

      Iglesias reminds us what it looked like to have an OK bullpen.

      • IndyRedMan

        Yes but I think getting Lorenzen back in the rotation is mandatory in the long run! Another thing that is a pleasant reminder is what a force Hamilton can be! Everytime he goes on a bad streak he’ll steal a bunch of bases or make some crazy circus catches!! You think you can count on him then he gets hurt. Its becoming a pattern but we can’t give up on him!!

  24. Whoa Bundy!

    I think Jay Brice is turning back into a pumpkin.

  25. IndyRedMan

    Suarez had a .349 obp in June and since June 23rd he has a 7 walk/8 K ratio! Considering he was K’ng at a rate that Adam Dunn would complain about that’s something!

  26. preacherj

    Iggy with 3 big innings and a knock. Pretty impressive

    • TR

      This is the way many of us wanted Chapman to be used in the last couple years, but that’s in the past.

  27. preacherj

    Bruuuce. And the value of a Votto walk

    • DHud

      Votto was just clogging up the bases, getting in the way of Bruce’s home run trot

  28. Big56dog

    Great there goes the save opportunity, unless they let Iglesias finish it out

    • preacherj

      I have full confidence we can turn this into a save opportunity

  29. Janet

    Bruce beats the shift. Hah! Take that all you Bruce haters.