Hey, look at that win yesterday. One of our readers pointed out that the team has stood a fairly impressive W-L record when I post the previews, which means that I’ve noticed and it will stop pretty much immediately.
Today is Game 2 of Reds (23-38) and the Athletics (25-35) three-game series. I’d say something horrid and borderline non-family-safe right here about Oakland or perhaps even Jed Lowrie, but it’s 5:34 AM, birds outside the window are yelling at me that I might want to stop working for the night, and I need to wake up for a very long day in far fewer seconds than I’d care to consider. Feel free to throw something in yourself right here:
Great point! That was hilarious and also poignant. I knew I could count on you.
|1. Zack Cozart (SS)
2. Joey Votto (1B)
3. Brandon Phillips (2B)
4. Jay Bruce (RF)
5. Adam Duvall (LF)
6. Eugenio Suarez (3B)
7. Tyler Holt (CF)
8. Tucker Barnhart (C)
9. Dan Straily (P)
|1. Coco Crisp (CF)
2. Jed Lowrie (2B)
3. Stephen Vogt (C)
4. Danny Valencia (3B)
5. Khris Davis (LF)
6. Yonder Alonso (1B)
7. Marcus Semien (SS)
8. Max Muncy (RF)
9. Kendall Graveman (P)
THINGS I DON’T NECESSARILY DISLIKE, BUT OTHERS PRETTY MUCH BASE THEIR LIVES UPON AND I’M PRETTY SICK OF HEARING ABOUT IT
-Harry Potter in all his various trademarked forms
-(insert most recent obnoxious fashionable Broadway show here)
THING I PRETTY MUCH BASE MY LIFE UPON BUT DON’T EXPECT MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL TEAMS TO HURL IN THE FACES OF THE OTHER FANS
Do you feel me? I don’t know what my tipping point was on this– NASCAR night, the eighth garden gnome giveaway, or Moselle Franconian Speaking Peoples Originating in Alsace-Lorraine With Broken a Left Tibia Day at Great American. I am weary, as a baseball fan, of being sliced and diced into increasingly smaller specialty groups.
Look, I understand that MLB needs to bring in new pairs of eyeballs to survive. I’m a Thoroughbred racing writer; I know what a gasping sport looks like. It’s better to permanently hook some newbies on Free Australian Rules Football Post Pads Day at the expense of slightly annoying the die-hards, because we die-hards will always come back.
Which is why I am increasingly uncomfortable with the likes of the Reds lineup appearing badly Photoshopped Jedi robes on the Jumbotron. If you’re at a ballpark for a ballgame, I don’t expect you to put up with my intergalactic hairbuns blocking your view of the third base foul pole. I suppose this bothers me because it’s a tacit admission that the game alone isn’t enough anymore, and we now live in an American in which the national pastime must be augmented with lightsabers and giant inflatable spaceships.
And that maybe the game alone isn’t enough to hold us together anymore.
|PITCHER||ERA||IP||SO||WHIP||WHICH HARRY POTTER HOUSE WOULD HE BE SORTED INTO?|
|Dan Straily||3.34||67.1||59||1.13||NO ONE CARES|
|Kendall Graveman||5.49||57.1||42||1.60||NO ONE CARES|
A THING FROM TWITTER
High seats anger Marty.
"It's hard to answer that question because there's so many good ones & not too many bad ones.The one in Camden Yards stinks" On radio booths
— TitanicStruggle (@TitanicStruggle) June 11, 2016
Actually there are one or two things on that list I violently dislike, but I’m not saying what they are. People know where I live.
Proud aunt Mary Beth Ellis is a freelance writer and college teacher who lives in Cincinnati, OH. Her home site, BlondeChampagne.com, has existed in at least some form since 2003, and Mary Beth has been a regular columnist with one publication or another from the age of 16. Her first book, Drink to the Lasses, was published in 2006. She currently teaches college, runs personal wine tastings, gives literary readings, and stares into the middle distance.