Disco Night at GABP. Tonight the Reds (22-38) begin a three-game series against the Athletics (25-24). We could call this a rematch of the 1990 World Series, only it’s June and both teams are terrible and we don’t have Rickey Henderson to kick around anymore. I’ll try to hold it to one Jose Canseco reference per game.

In any case, welcome back to a world in which two losses in a three-game series to the Cardinals is fairly universally described as “not as bad as I thought it was going to be.”

HAMILTON OUT

Because he was starting to hit well, Billy Hamilton is of course now on the 7-day DL for a concussion. Tyler Holt will take his place in center field.

On the upside, for the next week we get the likes of this hilarious injury shorthand from CBS Sports:

Capture

They can’t just put “concussion”? It sounds like he was decapitated or something.

STARTING LINEUPS

REDS ATHLETICS
1. Zack Cozart (SS)
2. Joey Votto (1B)
3. Brandon Phillips (2B)
4. Jay Bruce (RF)
5. Adam Duvall (LF)
6. Eugenio Suarez (3B)
7. Tyler Holt (CF)
8. Tucker Barnhart (C)
9. Anthony DeSclafani (P)
1. Coco Crisp (CF)
2. Jed Lowrie (2B)
3. Stephen Vogt (C)
4. Danny Valencia (3B)
5. Khris Davis (LF)
6. Yonder Alonso (1B)
7. Marcus Semien (SS)
8. Max Muncy (RF)
9. Sonny Gray (P)

LAST NIGHT’S BIG NEWS

As we all know, the big news out of last night was the fact that Bark in the Park went down, which meant Fox Sports Ohio viewers were treated to several images of dogs staring contemptuously at Matt Holliday. I was always a big fan of Bark in the Park when I worked at the Hall of Fame the past couple of years, because when the inevitable rain delay arrived, everyone was treated to a losing game that also smelled like wet dog.

Meanwhile, across the state, a heroic rescue was taking place in Cleveland. You sometimes hear of dogs attacking intruders or alerting owners to medical emergencies. This is better.

My friend and partner in laughing at stuff, Stephanie Liscio of It’s Pronounced Lajaway (always worth a read), was watching the Indians-Angels game when her shih tzu, Torrey, began ordering her to bed. Stephanie patiently explained, because dogs understand this kind of thing, that she would not sleep until the game was over.

Torrey realized her duty to her mistress, and was prepared to sacrifice herself to rescue Stephanie from further exposure to the Indians.

I need to get a dog.

STARTING PITCHERS

PITCHER ERA  IP  SO  WHIP WOULD HIS DOG ATTEMPT TO RESCUE HIM FROM THIS TEAM?
Anthony DeSclafani

(career)

4.38 217.2 177 1.35  With our luck, he’d get attacked by a rabid chinchilla instead.
Sonny Gray

(career)

3.16  544.0 465 1.18 Not if it’s a California dog. Can’t trust a California dog.

A THING FROM TWITTER

Your 2016 pitching staff, Reds fans.

Although when a Red busts one out, we should probably refer to this look as “The Marge,” because wow wouldn’t she have loved this.

CONCLUDING THOUGHTS

I hate what’s happened to this team over the past couple of weeks– you know, the whole tending-to-bat, sometimes-hold-a-lead thing–because it’s just cruel. I’d recently reached a place where I became zen about losing and appreciated baseball for baseball’s sake, and now it’s like they’re trying, and that gives me hope. Which leads to caring, which leads to disappointment, which leads to comfort eating.

I’m going to be one of those people the fire department can only get out of the house with a broken-down wall and an industrial crane and it’s all this bullpen’s fault.

Proud aunt Mary Beth Ellis is a freelance writer and college teacher who lives in Cincinnati, OH. Her home site, BlondeChampagne.com, has existed in at least some form since 2003, and Mary Beth has been a regular columnist with one publication or another from the age of 16. Her first book, Drink to the Lasses, was published in 2006. She currently teaches college, runs personal wine tastings, gives literary readings, and stares into the middle distance.

Join the conversation! 24 Comments

  1. Nice pre-game capsule! Quick correction though, the heading over the A’s lineup still reads “Mariners”

  2. Crap. Fixed. Thanks.
    In my defense, however, I can’t be expected to be concerned with such trifles when John Lamb has a man bun.

    • I can totally understand being supremely distracted by the Lamb’s “The Marge”! Seriously though, great read!

    • Yeah, that’s about as good an excuse as exists.

    • You can’t expect anything else from John “Dirt” Lamb.

  3. Does Disco look thinner to anyone else?

    Still LOVE seeing him back on the mound!

  4. How did Billy hurt his head?

    • Dove for a liner 2 nights ago. Made less than a smooth landing

      • Not so much the headfirst slide as the hard tag administered directly to said head. The Cardinal Way………

    • Jk, they’re saying it was on a slide into 3rd

  5. I probably shouldn’t say it but I will.Gray got us out on 8 pitches in the second.Patience patience please.

  6. Well it appears our offense has returned to normal.We had 4 hits last night and well none through 3 tonight.

  7. I have found myself reading every word of your posts Mary Beth. I am not even sure why, maybe it’s the streem of conscious writing (or maybe it sounds oddly like the voice in my head). Keep it up, whatever it is.

    • Oh thanks! Although if there’s another human being on the planet having the same thoughts I do… that’s pretty worrying.

  8. Gray has no hitter through 5 on 55 pitches and Disco is thinking oh yeah this is the same offense I almost forgot.I can’t stand myself so I am gone.

  9. 7th. inning, down one run. Another challenge for the Reds relief corps.

  10. Duvall drives in the first run and scores the go ahead. The Reds should pull him out of the line up right now and trade him. His value will never be higher!!

  11. And we’ll roll the dice with Tony the Tiger … er uh … Kitten

  12. I know there aren’t any other options, but Cingrani should go to the back of the line.

  13. Around the horn for a win, whew. What’s the Reds’ record when Mary Beth does the intro? Just sayin’ ….

    • The more relevant observation is: The Reds are .1000 when 1/12 of its pitchers have a man bun.

  14. The Reds are slowly becoming almost respectable. If they can win 16 in a row, they can almost get to .500

Comments are closed.

About Mary Beth Ellis

Proud aunt Mary Beth Ellis is a freelance writer and college teacher who lives in Cincinnati, OH. Her home site, BlondeChampagne.com, has existed in at least some form since 2003, and Mary Beth has been a regular columnist with one publication or another from the age of 16. Her first book, Drink to the Lasses, was published in 2006. She currently teaches college, runs personal wine tastings, gives literary readings, and stares into the middle distance.

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2016 Reds, Game Thread

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