Welcome to your 100% gorilla mention-free game thread. Tonight’s game three of the Reds (17-35) against the Rockies (24-28) starts at 8:40 PM.
BP is out with an owie ankle. It is, in the stirring words of Bryan Price, “not better enough.”
This past Halloween, I saw a kid dressed as Donald Trump. I thought, “Cute kid! That’s funny!” And then I thought, with deepening horror, “One year from tonight, this election still will not be over, and we will have to pay attention to these people for a very long time.” But at this time on Halloween, the Reds season will be over. That’s… comforting, isn’t it?
Be safe out there as we muddle through together.
THE BEST TWEET I’VE EVER READ ABOUT JOHN LAMB
“He looks like he just got thrown out of a Cheviot bar fight.”
|PITCHER||ERA||IP||SO||WHIP||EVER THROWN OUT OF A CHEVIOT BAR?|
|Tyler Chatwood||2.69||63.2||39||1.15||Too Tyler-y looking|
|1. Zack Cozart (SS)
2. Billy Hamilton (CF)
3. Joey Votto (1B)
4. Adam Duvall (LF)
5. Jay Bruce (RF)
6. Eugenio Suarez (3B)
7. Ivan De Jesus (2B)
8. Ramon Cabrera (C)
9. John Lamb (P)
|1. Charlie Blackmon (CF)
2. DJ LeMahieu (2B)
3. Nolan Arenado (3B)
4. Carlos Gonzalez (RF)
5. Ryan Raburn (LF)
6. Mark Reynolds (1B)
7. Trevor Story (SS)
8. Dustin Garneau (C)
9. Tyler Chatwood (P)
A THING FROM TWITTER
Today’s tweet is brought to you by Marlon Byrd’s fantastic self-awareness.
"I think you have to be an idiot to test positive." — Marlon Byrd, 2013https://t.co/HKsQkwKVxi
— Anthony Castrovince (@castrovince) June 1, 2016
You may have noticed that the Reds are in last place by several parsecs. However, let’s pause to quietly remember the sacrifice of Marlon Byrd, who waited until he was a member of the Indians for his second positive drug test. In times such as these, my friends, always and forever remember that there is always Cleveland to point and laugh at. Always. That is its role in this great world of ours. We owe it a tremendous debt of gratitude.
I salute you, Cleveland.
Proud aunt Mary Beth Ellis is a freelance writer and college teacher who lives in Cincinnati, OH. Her home site, BlondeChampagne.com, has existed in at least some form since 2003, and Mary Beth has been a regular columnist with one publication or another from the age of 16. Her first book, Drink to the Lasses, was published in 2006. She currently teaches college, runs personal wine tastings, gives literary readings, and stares into the middle distance.