Washington Generals Cincinnati Reds face off against the Brewers tonight in game two of the Battle of Futility at Miller Park in Milwaukee.
The Reds, losers of 11 straight (and counting!), have their opponents right where they want them, having lulled everyone into a false sense of security with their sieve-like defense and limp, flaccid offense. Any day now, they’ll open the floodgates and let loose a torrent of runs so potent it will make the famed Murderer’s Row of the ’27 Yankees team look like a bunch of engineers trying to play t-ball on the side of a hill during a snowstorm in January.
That’s what’s going on here, right? They can’t really be this bad.
The Redlegs send out Alfredo “Innings Eater” Simon, who has an ERA so high it qualifies as a quarterback rating, and who, over the last 30 days, ranks 109 out of 150 major league pitchers in the number of actual innings eaten. His ERA over that span: dead last. In all of major league baseball.
Simon spoke with ESPN about his recent track record. “I’m not doing anything different,” Simon said. “I have to focus and keep my head up.”
If the definition of insanity means doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results, Simon’s plan to “keep his head up” almost makes you wish John Lamb could come out again tonight for a repeat performance, doesn’t it?
Luckily for the Reds, the Brewers send out Chase Anderson, who currently leads his team in runs surrendered, and he lost the Reds earlier this year, 9-5, with Simon pitching against him. Unfortunately, for the Reds, Chase recently took a no-hitter into the eighth inning against the juggernaut that is the Chicago Cubs (it still feels weird saying that). The rookie appears to be on the verge of “figuring things out,” which is a good place to be when facing one of the worst offenses in the majors in the Cincinnati Reds.
No lineups available as of this writing
Despite all the negativity, Adam Duvall seems to be meeting and exceeding expectations thus far. He’s leading the team with 10 homeruns. Sure, his OBP is under .300 and, yes, he almost never takes a walk. But he’s young and he’s got room to improve.
See! I’m not completely negative!
Word ‘round the campfire was Joey Votto’s mother was on hand last night to take selfies with and hand out Votto baseball cards to fans.
— Cincinnati Reds (@Reds) May 28, 2016
There’s another good thing!
Now, if only the Reds would consider employing Vontaze Burfict as a potential starter, they might get some traction. He probably wouldn’t win, but the intimidation factor is enough to make it interesting. Plus, he’d probably fare better than JJ Hoover, right?
If I were a betting man (and I promised my wife I would stop), I’d put real, green dollars on the Reds losing streak making it an even dozen this afternoon in Miller Park. The Reds have the Rockies after this series. Their chances of stopping the slide drop significantly after today and tomorrow.
Let’s hope they can pull this one out.