The Milwakuee Brewers look to continue the woes of both the Cincinnati Reds (15-32) players and their fans this weekend, as they start a three game series in the Battle Of Teams That Were Essentially Eliminated From Contention Before The Season Started with the Bad News Cincinnati Reds.

The coveted BOTTWEEFCBTSS trophy has been passed around to the first NL Central Central team to earn the status of “hopeless futility” each season, but the Reds seem to be breaking records in how quickly and with how much intensity they seem to have pursued this award.

“This is a team sport,” said Reds coach, Bryan Price, “and it’s taken all of us working together to make this level of … success … happen.” (not an actual quote)

Compounding this self-evident despair and misery, the Reds are currently mired in a 10 game losing streak which, according to many statisticians, has the potential to go on nearly as long and be nearly as frustrating as the current Democratic and political primaries that have left most of America dialing up their physicians in search of fresh Xanax prescriptions.

“The Brewers have not been very good this season,” says long-time Cincinnati Reds radio announcer Marty Brennaman, “but they look like the Big Red Machine compared to what’s coming out of our dugout each night.” (also not an actual quote)

Mr. Brennaman then kicked a midget, struck a match against the back of a baby seal, lit a $200 cigar and continued, “I’ll tell you something else,” he said, but our tape recorder mercifully “ran out of batteries.” (Mr. Brennaman has never, in this reporter’s knowledge, kicked anyone, midget or otherwise)

THE PITCHERS

pitchers

John Lamb goes out for the slaughter tonight with the memory of his four-inning appearance against the Brew Crew from early May, in which he sprained his thumb and gave up a homerun to the not-at-all-using-steroids-anymore Ryan Braun, fresh in his mind. Also fresh in his mind are the 11 runs he’s surrendered in just 10 innings over the last two games against the Indians and Mariners.

The Brewers counter with Rookie Zach Davis, who sports a higher ERA than John Lamb, and less wins as well. But he’s got a better FIP, better strikeout and walk rates, and a better-looking approach to facial hair as well, as he wins the award for “Starting pitcher who does NOT look like a backup guitarist for The Spin Doctors.”

The young Mr. Davis is still in search of his first major league win. Sources say he’s got a good chance of that happening tonight, especially once the Reds bullpen gets involved. Regardless, it looks to be an explosive offensive experience tonight at Miller Park.

If, at the end of the contest, neither team has scored many runs, expectations are that Reds and Brewers fans alike will begin the meaning of existence and their place in the universe. Should you find yourself in such a funk, please visit the complimentary Psychologist and Laffy-Taffy booth behind Gate 23.

Starting Lineups

  1. Zack Cozart (SS)
  2. Joey Votto (1B)
  3. Brandon Phillips (2B)
  4. Jay Bruce (RF)
  5. Adam Duvall (LF)
  6. Eugenio Suarez (3B)
  7. Billy Hamilton (CF)
  8. Ramon Cabrera (C)
  9. John Lamb (P)

Brewers lineup not available as of this writing.

Conclusion

On paper, the Reds and Brewers seem roughly equivalent. They aren’t great, but they aren’t exactly a dumpster fire, either. Unfortunately, the Reds, having mired themselves in the current 10 game losing streak, seem to be heading south faster than college kids at Spring Break.

It was roughly a year ago that the Reds went to Milwaukee and began a horrendous, 13 game losing streak, the longest since 1945. How nice would it be for them to match that streak with this series a mere 1 year later, and head into Colorado next week with a chance to exceed it?

Answer: It would not be nice at all.

We could read through all sorts of twitter posts and news feeds about the Reds and their current predicament, but the only thing we want right now is for the good guys to make it stop.

Please. Please make it stop.

Please.

 

 

 

About The Author

Related Posts

46 Responses

  1. Indy RedMan

    Its little person…..first George Grande uses the M word on the broadcast and now on here? I don’t know any little people although an ex was 4’10 and cute as a button….its still considered an insult though!

    The only thing I really care about concerning the Reds in the near future is DRAFTING NICK SENZEL!!! That kids numbers are ridiculous and I watched some videos….he’s a pure hitter! Don’t they compare D1 college baseball to Single A or AA? Well if we had a kid at Single A hitting .352 (1.051 OPS) with 25 doubles, 8 HRs, and 25 steals in 210 atbats then we’d all be paying attention! I don’t really follow college bb (who does?) but I think they found a way to degrade the force of the aluminum bats a few years ago so its not like every game is 15-12 and half the lineup is hitting .340 like it used to be! I just hope Philly doesn’t take him?

  2. Patrick Jeter

    With a sample size of 3, looks like this is the new Reds RHP lineup. What we saw against Kazmir (the normal lineup) looks to be only against lefties now. Basic diff… moving Hamilton between 2nd and 7th (?)

    I wonder why the change. If it’s good enough now, why wasn’t it good enough all year?

  3. DHud

    Zach Davies is 23 years old, has a 1-3 record with an ERA of 5.75.

    I’m saying 7 IP, 1 ER, 3 hits, 9 Ks, 1 walk for him tonight

    • Patrick Jeter

      In general? Or when the Reds pitchers give them up? 😉

  4. Indy RedMan

    Reds score first….other guys rally….Reds bats go night-night…..Reds lose. Rinse and repeat!

    Almost 1/3 of the season gone and Votto is hitting .203 and Suarez is hitting .224? I can’t believe it? I would’ve said they’re our 2 best hitters? Curtis with a 2 run HR tonite for the Bats and he’s been great this year. Send Pacheco packing and give Curtis a few games at 3B and batting 2nd? Why the #$*$ not? Nothing else is working?

  5. DHud

    I’ve been a fan of Lamb. I like his stuff a lot. He can actually throw a breaking ball for a strike and I’ve thought he would round out the rotation as the number 5 guy when all is said and told. But if he can’t keep the ball in the park, avoid hard contact, and continue to surrender runs he’s going to pitch himself out of the rotation by the end of the year.

  6. Dan

    This Lamb character is unimpressive as a starter.

    • Patrick Jeter

      Agreed. Even last year when he had a pretty decent stretch, he never impressed me.

  7. VaRedsFan

    Hill just hit his 5th HR of the season….4 are against the Reds.

  8. VaRedsFan

    Bruce defense cost them another run. Ruled a hit graciously.

  9. Patrick Jeter

    If Duvall’s throw is within 6 feet of the plate the runner gets tagged out. Too bad it was 7 feet from the plate!

    • VaRedsFan

      Is it selective memory (probably), but does it seem like other fielders always make the perfect throw when the Reds try to score?

  10. Indy RedMan

    I’m a lefty and I used to pitch so I pull for lefty pitchers but Lamb sucks! He can’t keep the ball in the park….doesn’t use his curve/change enough or can’t get them over? Back to Lville you go!! Moscot sucks too! Adleman is probably on the 637 day DL like the other ones? Put them in a hat and draw one out….doesn’t matter at this point?

  11. james garrett

    Down by two runs and we can’t hit so this game is over.

  12. Indy RedMan

    Up 4-0 and lose 15-6…..same thing coming tonite! This is THE WORST Reds team I’ve ever seen and I’m old as dirt

  13. Indy RedMan

    When/if they ever get back in the dugout to hit then a leader could try to pick them up….there is 5 innings to go but who’s going to lead? Votto hitting .200? Bruce or BP who management tried to get rid of? No leadership so they’ll just roll over and make outs asap to get back to the hotel…or bar….or cellphone….whatever

  14. VaRedsFan

    That slap hit should be Billy’s bread and butter. Repeat that Billy

  15. VaRedsFan

    Had to be a hit and run with Cabrera stealing there?

  16. vegastypo

    Piggybacking off the Bryan Price thread, there comes a point where firing him might be doing him a favor. Let somebody else take these beatings.

    • TR

      I wouldn’t be surprised if Bryan Price packs it in and hands the reins over to Riggelman and returns to his natural calling of pitching coach except not with the Reds.

  17. james garrett

    May want to look at the scouting report on Hill because it ain’t working.

  18. james garrett

    You could argue that none of our pen belongs on a major league roster.Hill would agree if he could only stop laughing.

  19. Indy RedMan

    Lets walk the guy hitting .111…why not:)

  20. Indy RedMan

    No more Diaz’s please? Unless zombie Bo Diaz comes back to pitch….that would be acceptable!

  21. james garrett

    It really is laughable but it will get better after the break.

  22. james garrett

    Here’s the one thing that drives me nuts about this team.We have seen 7 pitches this inning and have a homer,a single and two ground outs.You talk about hacking.

  23. Mack Ashley Potter

    Lamb should enjoy his starts this season.
    He is a lefty specialist nothing more.
    Righties just destroy the ball off him.
    HILARIOUS watching Bryan Price hit & run with CABRERA.

    • Indy RedMan

      That’s the way it looks at this point? He was throwing 93 mph at times last year but now he’s 89-90? If he gained 10-15 lbs of muscle…got his back and legs stronger then it might be different?

    • RedsFanEd (@RedsFanEd)

      What was even funnier was watching Lucroy look at Rob Manfred’s signature on the ball before throwing to 2nd base and still got him by 3 feet. That was insult to injury of a horrible decision.

  24. Indy RedMan

    Votto is actually on pace for 23 HRs/84 RBIs as opposed to 29/80 last year. Its the slight 120 pt drop in obp though?

  25. james garrett

    Oops add 2 more pitches and another ground out to that inning for a total of 5 batters saw 9 pitches with a homer,a single and 3 ground outs.

  26. Scott E. Disney

    Is it to early to add Aaron Hill to the list of “Reds Killers?” A guy that hits against nobody but the Reds seems to fit the name.

  27. Scott E. Disney

    11 in a row! The Reds are on a roll . . . Oh wait . . . They’ve LOST 11 in a row? Oh dear. 😦