The Reds (15-28) close out a three-game series with the Mariners (25-17) at 1:10 PM today. You have been warned.

Current losing streak: 7.

Number of liquor bottles at the bottom of my kitchen pantry: Rapidly diminishing in proportion to losing streak.

Today’s promotion at GABP is a bat and ball set for small children, presumably so they can start filling in around the sixth inning or so.

I want to thank Steve Mancuso for pinch-hitting for me on yesterday afternoon’s game thread. I was supposed to do it, and started to do it, and then all of a sudden the first pitch alert went off on my phone, and I felt ill and sat there staring at my unfinished game thread that was supposed to have posted two hours ago.

For a while, I couldn’t understand how I’d thought the game was later than it actually was, and after a lot of productive curling up in a little ball, I realized I was engaged in an advanced form of subconscious self-protection. I did not want to acknowledge this game was happening.  I did not want to acknowledge this entire season was happening. The fact is that I pretty much always feel ill when the first pitch alert goes off, because that first pitch is usually immediately hammered over the center field wall by your nearest available Cub.

I mean, I knew this season would be bad, but I knew it would be bad in an abstract sense, in much the same way that I don’t need to actually put my leg in a shredder to know it would be somewhat painful. I did not expect the sports equivalent of showing up in a movie theater crying with joy and anticipation only to see Episode I: The Phantom Menace unspool before me. Because that’s what we’re living right now, people– 162 games of midichlorians and Jar Jar Binks.


The following actual Reds:

Jumbo Diaz and his 6.30 ERA and Keyvius Sampson and his 7.71 ERA were optioned. Steve Delabar and his 6.75 ERA was DFA. Anthony DeSclafani and Yorman Rodriguez have been placed on the 60 day DL.

But! Coming soon to a shower of Twitter complaints near you are Dayan Diaz, A.J. Morris, and Josh Smith.

Super pumped.


I saw this recipe the other day. It makes me sad. It is the saddest recipe in the history of 1.4 oz boxes of Jell-O Chocolate Fudge Flavor Sugar Free Fat Free Instant Pudding.

File May 22, 12 55 42 AM

I cannot imagine sitting down to what you think is dessert and winding up instead with a mouthful of melted Cool Whip Lite diluted by fat-free milk and chocolate-flavored granules of cornstarch. And that is what this season is like. There’s baseball, right, and you’re excited there’s going to be baseball, and then… one giant quivering spoonful of the current version of Kevin Gregg.

In a cloud.


 A. Simon  10.34  31.1  26  2.11  .366
 W. Miley  4.32  50.0  35  1.20  .255


1. Zack Cozart (SS)
2. Billy Hamilton (CF)
3. Joey Votto (1B)
4. Brandon Phillips (2B)
5. Jay Bruce (RF)
6. Eugenio Suarez (3B)
7. Adam Duvall (LF)
8. Ramon Cabrera (C)
9. Alfredo Simon (P)
1. Leonys Martin (CF)
2. Nori Aoki (LF)
3. Robinson Cano (2B)
4. Nelson Cruz (RF)
5. Kyle Seager (3B)
6. Adam Lind (1B)
7. Steve Clevenger (C)
8. Shawn O’Malley (SS)
9. Wade Miley (P)


It’s occurred to me that the thing I post from Twitter in the game thread should probably be baseball-related, so here are Billy Hamilton’s shoes. Apparently a helpful pilot light of some sort is about to be “dropped.”


I hate it when the sound people blast “DAY-O” at GABP for no apparent reason. How is this inspiring?  Why is this necessary? It’s not and it’s not.

The kettlecorn, however, may stay.

58 Responses

  1. Darrin

    Is there a 10000 day dl? Just curious.

    • Mary Beth Ellis

      There is never an enough-days DL.
      Just like there isn’t enough liquor.

      • Darrin

        It’s about time Junior came off the dl isn’t it? I mean, I’m pretty sure he’s still on payroll.

  2. George

    From MLB>COM
    Cincinnati Reds transferred CF Yorman Rodriguez from the 15-day disabled list to the 60-day disabled list. Left hamstring strain
    Cincinnati Reds transferred RHP Anthony DeSclafani from the 15-day disabled list to the 60-day disabled list. Oblique strain

    Cincinnati Reds selected the contract of Josh Smith from Louisville Bats.
    Cincinnati Reds selected the contract of A.J. Morris from Louisville Bats.
    Cincinnati Reds selected the contract of Dayan Diaz from Louisville Bats.

    Cincinnati Reds designated RHP Steve Delabar for assignment.
    Cincinnati Reds optioned Keyvius Sampson to Louisville Bats.
    Cincinnati Reds optioned Jumbo Diaz to Louisville Bats.

    The carousel gets some new faces, fresh meat for the arena.
    If the oblique strain has sidelined “Disco” this long, is this what we can expect with the reds most recent “ouchy” oblique.

    Mary, great approach to game thread, we now know the attraction that the “Gladiator Games” in ancient Rome had with the local Roman fans! Blood, destruction, bodies, new faces. Wash, rinse, repeat.

    • ohiojimw

      I just had a thought that I am trying to come to terms with, If the Reds entire active 25 roster pitching staff was DFAed in mass would any of them not clear waivers for outright or release?

      Finnegan I’d guess for sure. Depending on the day of the week and other team’s current needs maybe Straily, Lamb or Cingrani .

      • George

        Most would clear waivers for sure but there would be a lot of new AA free agent signings. 🙂

    • Mary Beth Ellis

      I’m so glad you liked it.
      I’m so sad I failed to include “oblique” in this post.
      It’s such a great word.

  3. Scotly50

    I am pumped for this game. Got the Big right-hander on the mound. Lets go Reds. Can I get a Day-OOO ???????

      • vegastypo

        Aw, c’mon …. as much as we’ve suffered from the woooooooooo, not just a few Day-O’s???????

      • Mary Beth Ellis

        There is not enough kettlecorn in the world.

    • Mary Beth Ellis

      I will personally place him there.

    • George

      I would think that would be toooooo humane, I would prefer a short rope and a tall tree.

      • Chuck Schick

        That option is reserved for the “Who let the dogs out” guy…..and the person who designed “Gapper”

      • George

        That’s the spirit, anyone else for the gallows besides “Walt”

  4. Darrin

    How does Louisville’s Iribarren, a career .300 .360 guy after 12 years in the minors, see only 27 total major league at bats in those 12 years?

    • Patrick Jeter

      Probably because no power, no speed, and perhaps bad defense?

      And .300/.360 when you’re facing younger competition really isn’t that great in the minor leagues.

    • KetteringRedsFan

      What -I’m- wondering is whether the MLB uniform dress code prohibits 3-digit numbers. One quarter through the season and we’ve already seen a “70” (i.e. Jumbo). At the current door rotation rate, one can only speculate…….

      • George

        The number thing is fascinating, why not try this for the bullpen; Hoover 2.6, Gregg 3.1, Marquis 5.1, Jumbo 6.89, save some money on new jerseys and by using the names, as I suggest, it eliminates any false expectation’s about what is going to happen. 🙂

      • Mary Beth Ellis

        There isn’t room on the back for four-digit ERAs.

  5. vegastypo

    Wright to pitch Tuesday. Price saying even he doesn’t understand why the team officially has not announced it.

    • Mary Beth Ellis

      Will Price be here by Tuesday?

      • ohiojimw

        He (Price) certainly seems to be at least wading into the Rubicon to differentiate himself from the mess the team has become. I wonder if it is any accident this is happening on the heels of Gonzalez being shown the door in Atlanta?

  6. james garrett

    The mercy rule is not in effect regarding Price so he will be here until the end of this season.

  7. DHud

    Simon on the base paths this inning, lineup turning over next inning. Trainwreck waiting to happen

  8. james garrett

    Four hitters saw 8 pitches and the inning is over.This team is anemic when it comes to baseball IQ.You just put up 3 runs in the first and Miley threw 29 pitches and you go hacking at everything.

  9. james garrett

    Simon joins in the fun and gives up a hit to the pitcher on an 0-2 pitch.I’m done for today because I am beginning to not like myself.

  10. vegastypo

    And, a double-play ball that wasn’t, thanks to the wild pitch. It’s always something …

    • vegastypo

      Nice throw to the plate too from Duvall. No margin for error if the throw hadn’t been right on the money.

  11. Darrin

    Can this please be the last game Simon starts

    • vegastypo

      Simon has been so fortunate to be employed. The injuries opened the door to a spot in the rotation, and with him going so badly, the Reds probably couldn’t wait to get some pitchers back into the rotation and replace him. Trouble is, nobody who gets hurt ever comes back to the rotation (Lamb is the exception), so Simon gets start after start.

  12. Indy RedMan

    I’m so glad the Reds are sticking with Simon! His future is so bright with the Reds and his commitment to fitness is unparalleled! He’s also shown himself to be an excellent teammate by trying to take the spotlight off the bullpen by producing an ERA even worse then theirs which would seem impossible? An overall swell guy and great signing:)

    • George

      LMAO great post. He will surly be remembered as a major motivational factor to the new kids coming up!!!

  13. Patrick Jeter

    Three pulled grounders for Votto today.

    Going to Milwaukee late next week… thats where I predict he figures out what’s wrong.

    • Patrick Jeter

      Although, grounders are preferable to strikeouts, so we’ll take it for today, I suppose! 😉

      • Scotly50

        Wow. We are reduced to praising our highest paid player, (by far), for hitting ground balls to the right side. Who would have thought Billy Hamilton would be out hitting the Ferrari ??

      • Steve Mancuso

        Votto isn’t hitting well, but saying that Hamilton is “out hitting” Votto is right only if you care about batting average, not in on-base, power, runs scored or home runs. Even in this terrible slump, Votto produces more runs than Hamilton.

      • Scotly50

        Well, as I said Steve, Hamilton is outhitting Votto. Anyway you spin it that is not good.

    • DHud

      He missed a golden opportunity to walk the opposing pitcher as his first major league batter faced. Not for lack of trying on his part, though

  14. TR

    Terrible. Down one run and now runner in scoring position with no outs. That’s not ML baseball but show-boat baseball.

  15. DHud

    Duvall just swung at three straight pitches that were NEVER even CLOSE to being strikes! I mean seriously what at was he swinging!?

  16. RedsFanCT

    If Blogger, Wild Wild West” doesn’t mind, i would like to borrow his analysis
    for one day : Reds take early lead, then offense falls asleep for the rest
    of the game. Lather, Rinse, Repeat

  17. RedsFanCT

    At least when we had Heisey on the bench, there was a track record of walkoff
    or game tying hits, but I’m afraid NOT with Pacheco, Holt, DeJesus and whoever
    else i forgot.

  18. james garrett

    Duvall and Suarez are learning at the big league level on how to hit and field.I can live with what they have done to this point.I expect both to have solid years.It does appear Suarez is struggling right now on both accounts but he just needs a day or two off.