2010 Post-Season / 2010 Reds / Humor

Selig Cancels Reds-Phils Series

After tossing only the second no-hitter in post-season history last night, Roy Halladay’s Philadelphia Phillies club will get a few extra days rest thanks to Commissioner Bud Selig’s decision to end this series for mercy reasons.  After beating the Reds 4-0 in Game 1 of the National League Division Series, a game in which the Reds managed only 1 base runner the entire night, Bud Selig felt it is in the best interest of the game to end this series early.

“Fans and people in the media have been complaining about the World Series going into November” said Selig at a press conference late last night.  “So the baseball offices have decided that the best way to speed up the post-season was to cut short any series we felt was either already over or unnecessary.  And after watching the performance the Reds offense put up last night, it is obvious this series is over.”

Fans and players of the Reds went to bed in disbelief last night after waiting 15 years for their team to make it to the post-season again.  Many of those fans and players woke up in absolute shock when they heard of Selig’s decision to cancel the series.  “I have played in 84 consecutive post-seasons” said Reds shortstop Orlando Cabrera, “and this is the first time I can ever remember anything like this happening.  I don’t agree with the Commissioner’s decision, but what can I do?”

Reds fans are also up in arms.  Chad Dotson, editor of a Cincinnati Reds baseball blog, questioned Selig’s decision by saying “we still have a shot.  The Reds have my favorite pitcher in Bronson Arroyo throwing in game 2.  Besides being totally awesome, he has cool hair and can play the guitar.  He’s facing Roy Oswalt, who the Reds have ripped apart of late.  And game 3 is in Cincinnati, where the fans should be nuts.  It isn’t crazy to think we could still win this series.”

Selig, who has heard some of the gripes from Reds fans, responded that “Oswalt is the Reds daddy.  You can’t judge the past few games as an indicator.  That’s a small sample size.  Look at the big picture.  The big picture indicates the Reds may not get a hit in game 2 either.  Besides, Reds fans should be thanking me.  Imagine trying to find a place to park in Cincinnati on Sunday with the Bengals and Disney on Ice being performed on the same day.  Now Reds fans can take their kids to the Disney show without having to worry about their team becoming the first team to be no-hit in 3 straight games!  Maybe if I re-instate Pete Rose, Reds fans will forgive me over this decision.”

… C’mon, if you can’t laugh it off and laugh at yourself, then who can you laugh at?  Let’s get em in Game 2 Reds!  BELIEVE!

7 thoughts on “Selig Cancels Reds-Phils Series

  1. Hmmm..after calling a game a tie, this isn’t so unbelievable.. thanks for the laugh amongst the tears.

  2. Does anybody know what time the Reds’ team plane is supposed to arrive in Philly?

  3. You know, this isn’t even funny! Think of some of the bonehead decisions Selig has made in his reign of banality. Keep in mind he recently said he wanted to expand the play offs even more to get more teams in. Nothing like Christmas baseball, is there?
    So this is not beyond his (lack of) sensibilities.

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