In response to Mike Coolbaugh’s tragic death, MLB is requiring base coaches to wear protective headgear. At least one aging little elf is none too happy, because he thinks it makes him look uncool. One spring training game in, Braves first base coach Glenn Hubbard was already bitching and moaning (from the AP):

Glenn Hubbard trotted on the field Wednesday wearing a helmet — and feeling downright ridiculous.

“You know what it feels like?” he asked before a spring training game. “Look at that kid over there.”

Hubbard pointed toward a young batboy standing at the edge of the Braves dugout, his head dutifully covered by a helmet.

“That’s what I feel like,” Hubbard said, not bothering to hide the disgust in his voice. “A batboy.”

Poor Glenn. God forbid a 50-year-old man, who wears knickers to work (not to mention ill-fitting blue-blockers, a mini-mullet, and an abysmal goatee), be made to look silly. Yes, it’s truly unfair for Glenn Hubbard to look anything less than his usual cool as he slaps younger men’s butts and safeguards their discarded batting gloves.

Humiliated baseball man

I’m sure his family would definitely risk the chance of traumatic brain injury, if only Glenn could maintain that dapper, professional look that he spent so long cutivating. You know, like this:

At least he had his dignity

At least he had his dignity.

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19 Responses

  1. Matt B.

    Glenn needs to shut the hell up. No one words need to be said.

  2. Jeff Gentil

    Good God you’d think the Braves would have a muzzle on him in addition to the helmet. Shut up, Glenn!

    I would think your family would rather you look like a batboy than a vegetable.

  3. Y-City Jim

    Obviously with the protruding gut he is not real health conscious.

  4. Y-City Jim

    Not to mention, he could go get a real job where he doesn’t have to wear a helmet.

  5. Mark T

    Can you imagine a football coach wearing shoulder pads and a helmet? Makes as much sense as baseball coaches and managers dressing like their players.

  6. Aaron B.

    I think I speak for Elves everywhere in saying that Glenn Hubbard is not one of us. He is a Gnome. Please correct that asap.

  7. Y-City Jim

    Football coaches aren’t standing out on the field of play.

  8. John

    I figure batboys and first base coaches pretty much have an equal amount of responsibility.

  9. Jared

    Maybe Sammy Sosa could stand next to first base and show Hubbard why he needs to wear a helmet. He seems to have a knack for getting hit in the head.

    Seriously, that helmet doesn’t look any worse than wearing a hat. What’s the problem? And who the hell is he to think his opinion matters?

  10. preach

    I figure batboys and first base coaches pretty much have an equal amount of responsibility. 🙂

  11. Matt B.

    Here’s Mark Berry’s take:

    “I don’t agree with it,” Berry said about the rule. “I think it should be optional. Umpires don’t have to wear them. Why not them, but we do? It’s just uncomfortable. You feel like it’s going to fall of. They do make inserts for hats, like in the old days. They could make a hard shell that goes inside your hat.”

  12. daedalus

    How on earth have we ever survived in the 139 years of professional baseball without the base coaches using helmets????

    nanny state at its finest. life has tragedies. when some third base coach gets hit in the chest and dies of a heart attack, are we going to make him wear a robocop suit?

  13. Y-City Jim

    I don’t see the problem with requiring the wearing of a helmet by the base coaches. Maybe it is an overreaction but it doesn’t seem like a big deal.

  14. Jimmy James

    I agree that it should be optional. Doesn’t make sense to mandate this sort of thing. Let each coach decide on their own.


  15. Jay

    if I could work in baseball and had to wear a helmet when on the field … SIGN ME UP

  16. preach

    I’m glad this appeared on “Random Posts”. This was an enjoyable one. Sometimes going back and re-reading some of the threads will make you laugh out loud. I really appreciate this site.